Magdalene: Lily's Hell
by blueskywillow
Summary: Lily has gone missing for four years. Now she is back at Hogwarts with a past that will haunt her! Please read and review it would really mean a lot! :
1. Back With A Past

I want to thank everyone who had reviewed my last short ficcy **Erase and Rewind**.

This story is based on a factual place. Magdalene was a hell for many young women. Unfortunately not many people were as Lucky as Lily. God rest the souls of the many women who had died there.

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

This story will be rated PG-15 due to its mild language and abusive content. Please be aware that this story is far from happiness.

****

Magdalene : Lily's Hell

Lily walked through the barrier to platform 9¾ for the first time in four years. She had once been a bright young girl who was full of life. But she wasn't that same person. She had changed since the last time she had walked through that barrier. Even her appearance had changed. Her long silky red hair usually cascaded down her back but now it was shorter and was piled into a high pony tail. Her beautiful emerald green eyes which always held life now looked dark and empty. Another new feature was a scar on Lily's neck which went from her ear lobe to her collarbone. She was also taller now and her clothes were dark. What could have changed this bright young girl into a dark empty being? Only one place could... Magdalene.

Lily didn't want to go back to Hogwarts but her guardian was making her. Lily sighed and was about to walk back through the barrier again when none other than her guardian appeared in front of her. Her guardian had long black hair that was currently in a bun. Her bright blue eyes masked her past just like Lily's. She was a good few inches taller than Lily.

"You weren't leaving so soon where you?" Arabella asked as she crossed her arms and guarded the exit. Lily looked at the ground and shook her head.

"No, mam." Lily said civilly. Arabella put a hand on her chin and tilted her head up.

"You're out of there now so stop talking like that. How many times do I have to tell you? Call me Bella." She said seriously. Lily nodded her head.

"Sorry." Lily said as she shifted the bag on her shoulder.

"Now have you got everything?" Bella asked as she looked around.

"Owl, check. Trunk, check. Books, check. Money, check. Rope, check." Lily said the last one sarcastically. Bella looked at her sternly.

"Don't even say that Lily." Bella said seriously. Lily looked at the ground again.

"Sorry." She muttered. Lily flinched as Bella pulled her into a tight hug. She wasn't used to this. It had been four years since anyone had ever tried to hug her.

"Everything will be okay. I'm working on getting Anne out." Bella whispered. Lily pulled away and nodded. "Now go. Get yourself a compartment and owl me after McGonagall speaks with you." Bella said gently. Lily hesitated and looked up at Bella.

"T-thank you. For everything." Lily said faintly. Bella gave her a faint smile and nodded. Lily sighed then turned towards the train. There was lots of people on the platform laughing and joking about one thing or another. Lily quickly walked towards the train and found herself a compartment at the back. She closed the curtains and pulled her journal out if her bag. 

__

Friday 1st September 1977

I'm back here again. After four years away I'm back to continue the wonderful studies of witchcraft. How... wonderful. I don't even know why I'm back? I'm sure I have lots to catch up on but Bella insisted that I come. It's probably because she never got to finish her years here. She had left the summer before her seventh year and had been thrown into Magdalene. Bastards! I wonder how Anne is holding up? I was lucky- There was a knock on the door and Lily looked up to see a girl and a guy. The guys was tall and very handsome. He had blue eyes which were hidden behind a pair of black framed glasses. His shaggy black hair hadn't changed since the last time she had seen him. The girl had brown curly hair to her shoulders and beautiful chocolate brown eyes. Lily remembered her as well. The pair were James Potter and Andrea Cole. They both looked at Lily wide eyed.

"Oh my Merlin. Is it you?" Andrea asked moving more into the compartment.

"Hello." Lily said as she closed her journal. She wasn't jovial or angered at seeing her old friend.

"I thought Sirius was pissing me about when he said he saw you. Where've you been?" James asked with a grin.

"Hell." Lily replied shortly. Andrea and James didn't know what to say to this but the silence was interrupted by a coarse voice.

"Well, well, well. I don't think Black will be to happy with you shacking up with his girl, now will he Potter?" Luscious Malfoy said as he stepped into the doorway.

"Sod off." James said. But Malfoy hadn't heard him because he was to busy looking Lily up and down.

"Well, hello there. What brings a spicy little vixen like you in to the company of Potter? Is he paying you to suck his-" But before he could finish that comment Lily grabbed him by the back of his hair and yanked his head back.

"Finish that comment and I swear I'll rip your bullocks off." Lily hissed. Her head was reeling. She remembered this guy back in her first years at Hogwarts, he had called her a mudblood but she had been to sweet and innocent to do anything about it. But the years had been hard on Lily and in return Lily was hard on the world.

"Get the fuck of me you crazy slut." Malfoy screamed as Lily dug her nails into the back of his neck. She pushed him out the door and slammed it in his face. James and Andrea sat there stunned.

"What you looking at?" Lily spat at them angrily. She didn't mean to be like that.

"Nothing. Erm Andrea we had better go." James said as he dragged Andrea out of the compartment. As the door shut Lily sighed to herself. _Great first impressions_. Lily thought as she began to write in her journal again. The train ride was long and boring. Nobody came to visit Lily, they probably heard about everything that had happened. Lily didn't care though. Professor McGonagall met Lily at the front door. As Lily walked up the stone steps the Professor nodded to her curtly.

"It is nice to see you again, Miss Evans. Could you please follow me." Professor McGonagall demanded. Lily nodded and followed her into the castle and up the stairs away from Great Hall. Many people looked at her and whispered. Many rumours had already been spread about her, she was sure. A few minutes later Professor McGonagall was leading Lily into her office. She indicated for Lily to sit in the seat in front of the desk and Lily did so.

"It is good to have you back in Hogwarts, Miss Evans. Under the circumstances I'm sure you are glad to be back." McGonagall said. Lily didn't say anything. "Very well. As you were already sorted you will be joining the seventh year girls in Gryffindor Tower." McGonagall paused and looked at Lily who kept her gaze on the ground. "There is something that I must discuss with you. Professor Dumbledore and I feel that you are as worthy as any person in this school and so we feel that you would be best suited as Head Girl." Professor McGonagall said with a thin smile. Lily looked up at the woman. She hadn't changed much in the past four years, maybe a slight bit greyer but her eyes kept that strength of authority that she had always conveyed. 

"Why me?" Lily asked in shock.

"You were a great student here once, and we feel that you will be again. We believe that you will do your duties well. Also in your first years here you were the only one to keep Potter and his gang on their toes and as Potter shall be Head Boy you were the most likely adversary." Professor McGonagall said with a chuckle. She then turned serious. "Also because of events that have happened in your past I understand your need for privacy so none of the other professors know about it." Professor McGonagall took a deep sigh.

"Thank you professor." Lily said quietly. Professor McGonagall looked at her.

"I believe there are other matters to discuss like a certain dispute on the train. Care to explain why Mr Malfoy has cuts on the back of his neck?" McGonagall asked her eyebrow raised.

"I've been branded a slut for the past four years of my life, Professor. I am no longer in that environment and refuse to be treated as if I were." Lily replied.

"Understandable. But such future discretions will not be tolerated. Now you must head to bed. I have ordered the elves to serve you your dinner in your room. I'm sure you remember how to get to the tower. The password is Bludgers." Professor McGonagall said with a nod. Lily thanked the woman then left the room. As she walked along the corridors she felt very weird. It was like she had to quickly run and hide so that she wouldn't be caught out of her bed. But Lily knew this place was different. In here the people weren't trying to make a few bob out of your sins, they were actually trying to help you. Lily adjusted the strap on her shoulder as she heard footsteps run towards her. Lily instantly froze as she heard her name being called.

"Evans!" A male voice called. Lily spun round to see a guy with styled black hair and violet eyes. He was a lot taller and muscular than the scrawny boy she remembered from her second year here at Hogwarts. He slowed down when he came towards her. A mischievous smile on his face. "Long time no see." He said as he stood in front of her.

"And you Black." Lily said crossing her arms across her chest defensively.

"Hey don't old friends usually hug?" Sirius asked with a rosy grin. Lily took a step back from him.

"I have to go." Lily said turning her back on him.

"Hey wait up." Sirius said as he ran to catch up with her. Lily gave him a side glance but continued walking. "So what brings you back to the wonderful land of Sirius Black?" Sirius said with a cocky grin. Lily rolled her eyes.

"Education." She replied dryly. Sirius stopped and put a hand to his chest.

"That hurt Evans." Sirius said mockingly. But Lily don't stop to give him any attention. Sirius ran to catch up with her again. He grabbed a hold of her arm to turn her round. Lily ripped her arm out of his grasp and pushed him up against the wall, her hand at his throat. She stood that way for a few moments before releasing him.

"S-sorry." Lily stuttered as she picked up her bag which had fallen to the ground. Sirius rubbed at his neck and gave her a weary smile.

"It's okay. I'm sorry for grabbing your arm." Sirius said. Lily stood their awkwardly looking at the ground her arms across her chest once again. Sirius took in her appearance. There were black rings under her eyes and her skin was pale. This wasn't the Lily Evans he had once known that laughed at his jokes and helped him and the rest of Maurders to play a prank or two. "Where did you go?" Sirius asked barely above a whisper. He had lost his brash demeanour and was showing a side of himself that not many people had seen. Lily looked up at him. She searched his face for a give away that he was messing her about but there was no trace of it.

"I'd rather not talk about it right now. I'm kinda tired from the trip and all. I think I'll just go and get settled in." Lily said as she turned and began to walk away from him. Sirius followed and walked beside her silently back to the tower.

"It would've been nice if you owled or something. We - I thought you were dead." Sirius said as they walked along. His hands were in his pockets and he looked at the ground as he scuffed his feet.

"I'm sorry. But after my parents died... things got really difficult." Lily said quietly. She kept adjusting her shoulder strap showing how uncomfortable she was. When Lily had been at Hogwarts before, she and Sirius had been very good friends. He had taken it upon himself to look out for her since the day they had met. She was always getting abuse because of being a muggle-born, he himself was a half-blood.

"I'm sorry I didn't know." Sirius said looking at her. Lily shrugged.

"It doesn't matter anyway. It was a long time ago." Lily said shaking her head to forget the memory. There was a silence between them as they continued down a large corridor.

"So... you and Andrea are dating." Lily said breaking the silence. Sirius looked at her oddly. "Malfoy was shooting his mouth off, before I umm..." Lily trailed off as a grin spread across Sirius' face.

"I heard about that, good one. Andrea and I have been dating for..." Sirius stopped as he thought. "... a year and three months." He said after a while. Lily gave him a ghost of a smile.

"She was always nice, from what I remember." Lily said mellifluously. Sirius looked at her and smiled.

"Yeah she is nice. She's a prefect. We actually thought she was gonna become Head Girl but she didn't." Sirius said a bit saddened. "Probably given to some Slytherin, and after she worked so hard for it." Sirius said angrily. Lily stopped and looked at him her eyes wide.

"Oh I'm so sorry." Lily said. Sirius turned to her and looked at her strangely.

"It doesn't really matter-" Sirius began.

"No, I'm sorry because Professor McGonagall made me Head Girl." Lily said tripping over her words. Sirius looked at her in shock.

"Oh." Was all he could say.

"I knew I shouldn't have come back. God - I really have to stop using that word. He never answers your prayers anyway." Lily said bitterly as she put a hand to her head. "He definitely knows how to punish a girl. Just because I run away from those bitches, I get punished." Lily screamed in anger. Sirius looked at her in shock.

"Are you okay?" Sirius asked as he watched her lean up against the wall and shake violently.

"I-I'm fine. I just need to get to my dorm." Lily said shakily. Sirius nodded as Lily stood straight and started to walk towards the portrait. Lily recognised it instantly. The fat Lady hadn't changed a bit. She still wore that horrible pink dress.

"B-Bludgers." Lily stuttered. The fat lady looked at her oddly the portrait swung open. She walked inside followed by Sirius. She stopped abruptly however when she seen that everyone where already there. Sirius stood beside her and nodded to his friends and girlfriend. James, Remus, Peter, Andrea and a few other people looked at him oddly.

"You remember where the girls-" Sirius began but Lily had already left his side and had made her way towards them. Lily walked up the stairs and along the corridor and stopped outside the door that read 'Seventh Year Girls'. It had been the exact same room that she had slept in before. Lily turned the handle and walked in. Thankfully there was nobody in the room. Lily looked around unsure of which bed was hers. She then recognised her trunk that Bella had bought brand new especially for her. Lily sighed and sat down on her bed. She opened up her black bag and took out a small tablet bottle. She twisted the cap and took it off; she twisted the bottle upside down and out came two tablets. She put one of them back in the bottle and closed it. She then walked towards the water jug, which was on the table beside her bed. She picked up one of the glasses and poured the water from the jug into it. She put the tablet in her mouth then took a long drink from the glass. When she swallowed the tablet she sat the glass down and sat on her bed. She had only been back a day and she had already attacked a guy and had stolen a position from someone who had worked really hard on it. Lily took in her surroundings. There were three other beds in the room. They were obviously Andrea's, Beth Hunt's and Gwen McLaughlin's. The room had posters of various singers and male models. Lily stood up and walked towards a dresser were several photographs sat of the three girls. Beth and Gwen hadn't changed much, of course they looked older but they still held that innocence that luckily would always be with them. Beth had beautiful wavy blonde hair that went to her shoulders. Her porcelain features were so delicate looking that she almost looked like a doll. Her blue eyes sparkled with zest and Lily almost envied her for it. Gwen had gorgeous chestnut coloured hair that flowed to the middle of her back. Her skin was creamy with a few freckles here and there. Her azure coloured eyes showed excitement and bliss. Lily looked at the rest of the photographs. There was one with Sirius and Andrea kissing. A picture with Gwen and Remus holding hands and looking at each other shyly then looking at the camera and blushing. Remus had changed. He was taller and very handsome looking. He had that whole rugged look going for him. His golden coloured hair was gelled and the fringe was spiked. His coffee brown eyes held mystery but with excitement. She could see why Gwen would be interested in someone like him. He had gotten very muscular looking and very tanned. There was another photograph with James, Beth and Peter. James was waving to the camera and giving his famous grin. Beth was blowing a kiss as Peter made a funny face. There was one last photograph on the dresser. It was of Lily in her second year. There was a big comparison of how she looked then and how she looked then. Lily pushed the picture face down and decided to put her clothes away.

Just as Lily had walked up the stairs Sirius turned to his friends. They all looked at him expectantly. He walked towards the couch and sat down beside his girlfriend. James was playing chess with Gwen whilst Remus sat behind her giving her tips. Beth was on a chair behind James and was reading a magazine. Peter was god know where.

"Why didn't you come back to the Hall with us? You missed a great prank." Remus asked curiously. He watched as Sirius' forehead creased but Sirius didn't reply. Andrea looked at Sirius with her eyebrows raised.

"Honey, why did you come in with Lily?" Andrea asked. Sirius looked at her.

"I umm met her on the way up here." Sirius replied. There was a silence amongst the group. "She must've gone to a muggle boarding school." Sirius said suddenly. "I mean something bad must've turned her into that dead shell."

"I don't think a muggle boarding school would be that bad. Maybe her parents died recently or something." Beth offered.

"No her parents died after second year. I think that's why she didn't come back. But then what happened to her?" Sirius thought out loud. "Look guys I think we should try to make Lily feel at home here. Wherever she was it was pretty tough on her." Sirius said.

"What makes you think that she didn't just end up like that?" Gwen asked as James took one of her pawns, well more like battered it.

"I umm kind of overheard some stuff as I walked by Minnie's office." Sirius said as he turned slightly pink.

"More like eavesdropped." James chuckled. Sirius rolled his eyes at his best friend.

"Well she said that for the past four years she had been branded a slut at the place she was and she wasn't at that place anymore so she wasn't going to allow anyone to call her that again." Sirius said thoughtfully.

"Yeah Malfoy had called her that then she dug her nails into the back of his neck." James said.

"And when I had accidentally grabbed her arm she threw me up against the wall and held me by the neck." Sirius said as he rubbed his neck. Andrea looked at him horror struck. "It was my fault and she apologised for it. I think it was just a reflex." Sirius pondered. "She also said something about God and how he never answered prayers and that he was punishing her for running away from someone." Sirius said. "Wherever she was it ruined her." Sirius added as he looked up at the dorm door.

"Maybe we should go up and say hello to her. I mean its not like anyone else has done it. And the Head Girl has obviously decided not to show her face." Andrea spat the last bit angrily. Sirius looked very uncomfortable at that moment. Just as Andrea stood up Sirius took a hold of her hand.

"Umm about that babe. The Head Girl is umm actually Lily." Sirius said. Andrea's face dropped, as did everyone else's.

"She what? But... But she hasn't been here. How could they choose someone that hasn't even took OWLS and wasn't a Prefect?" Andrea asked scandalised. Sirius stood up.

"Andrea calm down." Sirius said.

"I will not calm down! I worked too hard for that. I am going up there to give her a piece of my mind." Andrea said as she walked away from the group and up the stairs to her dorm. As she reached the door she could hear the thunder of footsteps behind her. Andrea threw open the door and was ready to give Lily Evans a piece of her mind only to get a shock. Lily had her back to her. She had changed into a pair of white shorts and had just pulled of her t-shirt to reveal her scarred back with nothing but a white bra strap to hide it. Andrea gasped. On Lily's back were long stripes of scars, it was the same on her legs. Lily turned round and looked at her. The same scars were across her stomach as well. The others were now standing in the door and they too looked shocked. Lily grabbed her nightgown and quickly put it on her.

"D-don't you know what privacy is?" Lily stuttered as tears filled her eyes. She had been used to people seeing her scars but that was only because they had them too though they weren't as bad as Lily's. Lily had broken the rules more than once in her four years. James didn't know what he was doing. He just had this urge to hug Lily and protect her from whatever person or thing had done this. He walked towards her and wrapped his arms around her. Lily had tried to push him away at first but then she just let everything go. She cried for the first time in four years. She cried into James Potters' chest. James at down on the bed with her and let her sob into his robes. He didn't care that she was soaking them he was just happy that he could be there for her. Remus, Gwen, Beth and Sirius piled into the room and closed the door behind them. Remus locked it for extra precautions. He knew that this was going to be a long night. 

~*~*~

Please Read and Review! It would mean a lot to me as I have a very passionate view about Magdalene and I would really like to know your view about what this place may be!!!


	2. It isn't helpful

I want to thank everyone who had reviewed my last short ficcy **Erase and Rewind**.

This story is based on a factual place. Magdalene was a hell for many young women. Unfortunately not many people were as lucky as Lily. God rests the souls of the many women who had died there.

****

Disclaimer: I own nothing. 

This story will be rated PG-15 due to its mild language and abusive content. Please be aware that this story is far from happiness. It deals with Rape and abuse.

****

Magdalene: Lily's Hell

Sirius, Remus, Andrea, Gwen and Beth stood awkwardly as James comforted Lily. They both had always been rather close when Lily was first at Hogwarts. Lily had been the only girl that James actually had long conversations with. Lily had been a good friend with everyone in the room. But she didn't know them like she used too. Lily's closest girl friend had been Beth. Lily had actually spent a week at Beth's the summer before she had 'disappeared'. Beth sat on the other side of Lily.

"Lily, everything will be okay." Beth said soothingly. Lily looked up from James' chest and at the people around her. She quickly stood up, realising what she had just done. She pulled the gown tightly around her. Her eyes were red from crying and her hair was a mess. She tugged at her hair bubble and let her hair fall around her face. She looked at her reflection in a mirror nearby and winced. She turned back to the people who were all looking at her.

"Lily what happened?" James asked in a pleading voice. Lily looked at him. He was so handsome, if things weren't the way they were, if life wasn't so crap, Lily could almost have an attraction to him. But she couldn't. For the past four years of her life it was drilled into her head that men were wrong and that they only wanted one thing of you. But Lily had tried to defy them - those people that had done this to her - she didn't want believe what they had said to her. She didn't want too but the words kept coming back to hunt her.

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"They don't love you. Think of you in a dirty way. You're dirty. You shouldn't be allowed to be seen - you make them think like this."

Lily looked away from James and instead stared at the ground. "Leave." Lily said in a hollow voice.James stood up and was about to grab a hold of her arms but Lily pushed him away. "Leave!" Lily screamed at him. James stood in front of her, hurt in his eyes.

"James, Sirius and Remus get out please." Andrea said quietly. The three boys looked at each other then walked out of the room closing the door behind them. The girls turned to Lily.

"Lily we thought t-that..." Gwen trailed off. It was hard for her to say the next words but she forced herself to say them. "We thought that you were dead." Lily looked at Gwen and swallowed hard. There was a silence before Lily spoke.

"I tried to be. I really did try." Lily said looking up at the girls. The three girls ran to her and engulfed in a hug. 

The three boys sat in there room anxiously waiting to be called back into the girls room. Sirius was lying on his bed throwing the quaffle into the air as Remus sat on his bed reading a book. James however was restless. He wanted to know what had happened to Lily.

"Do you think she had been captured by Voldermort and kept as a prisoner? After all he is going after muggles." James said as he paced the room. Sirius looked at him.

"You think? But it would've been in the Daily Prophet if she had been a prisoner." Sirius said. James looked at him.

"But the damage seems about right. He usually tortures his victims. Lily looks as if she has been tortured." James said with a hint of anger. Remus put his book down and looked at James.

"James what happened to your mother didn't happen to Lily." Remus tried to reassure. James looked at the ground. His eyes welled with tears at the thought of his mother. She had been a kind woman. She hadn't down anything wrong. She was just the wife of an ex-Auror. Why kill her when her husband is already dead? James sat down on his bed and put his head in his hands.

"I-I just want to make it all better for her." James said shakily.

"We know you do Prongs. So do we." Sirius said going over to his friend.

"When I saw he like that in the train compartment, she looked dead. There was no trace of the old Lily anywhere. I hated seeing her like that. The girl who laughed at our jokes, who scorned us when we played a prank on her and the others, she was gone." James said as he stared out the window. The guys had never seen him like this not since he found out that his mother was dead. It killed them to see there best friend in this horrible state.

"Don't worry James we'll do whatever we can to make her happy again." Remus reassured. Sirius nodded in agreement.

The next morning the three boys sat in the common room waiting for the girls. They hadn't come by last night and the boys had gotten worried. When James was about to go up to the room Andrea, Beth and Gwen walked down the stairs. Andrea and Gwen greeted their boyfriends whilst James looked over Beth's shoulder to see where Lily was.

"She's not coming, James." Beth said in a monotone. James looked at the girl.

"What? Why?" He asked anxiously. Beth sighed and looked him over. He looked so tired, almost like he had gotten a bad night's sleep.

"We talked last night and she told us what happened." Beth said as tears welled in her eyes.

"Beth what happened to her?" James asked urgently. Beth shook her head and wiped her eyes.

"It's up to her to tell you." Beth said much to James' anger.

"Look guys what happened to her was bad really bad. We have to look out for her the best we can. She could break at any minute and with Malfoy around she just might." Gwen said as she had her arm around Remus' waist. James sighed and nodded.

"Let's go down to breakfast." Sirius offered. They all nodded and went down to breakfast. Lily didn't appear at breakfast or at any of their classes. The last class of the day was Muggle studies. James sighed as he took a seat beside Amos Diggory, the Hufflepuff Quidditch captain. James was the only one who took this class the rest took Care of Magical Creatures. Amos was an extremely handsome guy with startling brown eyes. He was one of the cutest guys in the school next to Remus, James and Sirius that was.

"Hey, how was your summer?" Amos asked as he set his parchments on the table. James shrugged.

"All right. I spent most of it at Sirius'. Did you see the Italy vs. Germany game?" James asked as looked about the class.

"Bloody dreadful wasn't it? And Italy is supposed to be the best in the world." Amos said. James laughed. Just then Professor Tippet quieted down the class. He was a fairly young professor who all the girls swooned over. He was tall with golden brown hair and a very nice tan.

"Good to see everyone back again this year. This year we are going to talk about a fairly important subject in Muggle lives. Religion. Now who can tell me what that is?" The Professor asked looking round the room. Nobody raised a hand. "Anyone? Okay then I'll tell you. It is a belief that muggles live by. Now there are many different religions across the world. In the UK itself it eight main religions, Anglicanism, Roman Catholic, Protestantism, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism and Sikhism. Now can anyone tell me the main religion?" Yet again nobody replied. 

"Okay I'll tell you. Anglicanism, it is part of a greater religion known as Christianity. All religions are part of this. Now in today's class we are going to talk about a very well known religion through out the world. And that is the Roman Catholic religion. Now not many people know this but Patrick O'Connell, the seeker for the Windborne Wasps is a Catholic. He is originally from Ireland and will be playing for Ireland in the next game against France, just so you know Mr Potter and Mr Diggory." The professor smiled. The class laughed along with James and Amos. They two boys were known for their love of the game.

"The Catholic Church is very strict and this is shown through their beliefs. Mr Potter I don't think you will like this but sexual intercourse is not allowed outside of marriage." The Professor laughed. Everyone laughed except for James who went very red. Now when I said this professor was young I meant he was just out of Hogwarts two years ago.

"Not only that but they are against abortions. They believe it is a killing of a life. The Catholic Church is made up of priests and nuns who are also none as Sisters. They try to help the people of their religion. Now if you will take this done from the board." Professor Tippet said. The rest of the class was a bit of a bore after that.

Over the next couple of months Lily came out of her shell a bit more. If someone told a joke she would smile, she also tried to be less guarded around people including the guys. They were all trying their best to make her feel at home. It was hard for Lily to open up especially after keeping her emotions so well hidden. James was always so nice to her; he would make sure nobody bothered her that all the work wasn't piled on top of her. He had also helped her a lot with her schoolwork, which she had needed. One Wednesday evening in the middle of March Lily was sitting in the prefects' lounge with James going over some work.

"So Dumbledore wants a muggle clothing day? That's a bit strange. Has it ever happened before?" Lily asked curiously looking from her notes. James shook his head.

"Not since I was here." James replied. There was silence amongst the two as Lily continued taking her notes. James stared at her intently. Lily looked different now than she had in September. The black rings around her eyes had disappeared; her eye showed some sparkle but still held secrets. Her face had a lot more colour to it and her hair looked a lot more bouncy. Her muggle clothing had also changed. Instead of the usual black she now at least wore whites and blues. Lily looked up to notice him staring.

"What is there something on my face?" Lily asked as she rubbed at her cheeks. James laughed and moved her hand away from her face. Lily flinched a little at the interaction. James was always doing things like this. He was always trying to touch her hand or have her look directly into his eyes. James kept hold of Lily's hand.

"You know Lily you've changed since you came into my life." James said. He was always saying things like this. He just wanted her to know that someone cared about her because he got the assumption that she felt very alone. Lily was starting to feel uncomfortable.

"James-" Lily began but James put a finger to her lips.

"Lily you know I like you don't you?" James asked as he caressed her cheek with the hand that was previously at her lips.

"James please, stop." Lily said letting go of his hand and standing up. She went to the window stood by it.

"Why do you always do that? Why do you always push me away?" James asked annoyed. Lily turned to him, tears in her eyes.

"Because you don't know me!" Lily said to him. James stood up and walked towards her.

"I do know you Lil. You're a girl who is frightened of something but won't tell anyone about it." James said.

"James, you wouldn't understand." Lily said throwing her hands up in the air.

"You won't give me the chance to. I'd be able to help you if you just told me." James said as he touched Lily's arm. Lily flinched from the contact. If it had been any other male she would've had them lying in the ground with a broken arm. But this was James. Sure she liked him back, but she could never do anything about it because he couldn't know about her past or could he? She had only ever told four people about what had happened at Magdalene but they were girls, he wouldn't understand or would he?

"I don't need help." Lily spat at him as she walked away from him.

"Yes you do. You can't even let one of your friends get close to you because you're afraid that they just might crack that shell you put around yourself." James said a bit angrily. Lily spun on her heel and glared at him.

"This 'shell' I put up protected me for bloody four years. It saved me; I would've been dead a long time ago without it. So where were you when I needed the help?" Lily asked angrily. 

"Lily we thought you were dead." James said as hurt could be heard in his voice.

"Well I was good as." Lily spat. James threw his hands up in the air.

"Will you stop pitying yourself? There are people who are a lot worse of in the world." James said angrily. Lily looked furiously at him.

"Yeah, and there still in Magdalene!" Lily spat. "Do you know what Magdalene is?" Lily asked. James' face dropped, he did know what Magdalene was because he had been taught it just a few weeks a go in Muggle Studies.

"You were raped?" James asked in shock.

"No James I wasn't, that's the problem!" Lily said irritably.

"But Magdalene is a workhouse for raped women and - you got pregnant?" James asked in astonishment. Lily shook her head.

"Not that either." Lily said tersely.

"Then why?" James asked his eyebrows furrowed.

"Because I was a witch!" Lily screamed. James stood there stunned. "I got these scars on my back because of this so-called wonderful bullshit!" Lily said.

"But who would put you in there?" James asked as he leaned against the windowsill his hand propped against the wall in shock.

"My sister. She was my new guardian after my parents died. She didn't want me to come back here so she shipped my of to Dublin in Ireland. She of course didn't tell them that I was a witch. She told them that I was whoreing about. The nuns brought it upon themselves to teach me a lesson. You know James I was only thirteen years old. I hadn't even kissed a boy before." Lily sat down as tears streamed down her face.

"But I thought Magdalene helped you. I thought that the nuns and priests were there to help. They can't harm you in anyway." James said in disbelief.

"The ones that get beat never leave there, James. No one knows about what happens in there. Do you know that the oldest person in there is 87? Her name's Mary. She helps all the new recruits out when they first come. They won't let her leave because she hasn't repented her sins. Seventy years she worked in that gad damned place and she hasn't repented her sin of having a baby. They beat her up because she had a baby out of wedlock." Lily said looking at him as tears continued to stream down her face. 

"It's the survival of the fittest in there. Do you know I watched three girls hang themselves and ten girls slit their wrist with a bread knife? They couldn't hack it in there James. They were weak, just like I was. That was until I developed my shell. I tried to kill myself three times." Lily held out her wrists. James gasped as he seen the scars there as well. "I admit I was stupid to even try it. The last time I tried the nun's caught me and they beat me for trying to commit a sin. That's when I decided that escaping would be a better idea. So I tried everything I possibly." Lily paused, she didn't know if she could go on but she had to. James had to know about this.

"We would do the laundry for the local community and the man that would collect the clothes brought this rookie one-day. He was a pervert but a gullible one. One day I got him alone and I offered to marry him if he got me out of there. He said he would have to kiss me first but I told him that if he got me out I would. So the night came and I got out of the locked dormitory and I ran down to the entrance to see he wasn't there. He had gotten cold feet." Lily took a breath and looked at James who was looking at her with horror on her face. She prayed that it be because of the place and not her. 

"I screamed and banged at the door and the nun's heard me. They caught me and the said they would teach me a lesson because I tried to escape my punishment. They cut all of my hair off but I screamed and hit them and that's when the scissors got me." Lily took a breath and undid her top two buttons of her shirt and loosened her tie. She pulled it down her shoulder to show the scar that led from her ear lobe to her collarbone. 

"It left me unconscious for three weeks. And when I woke up they put me back to work straight away. You see the nuns' only care about money in there. They don't care about you. They didn't even care about those who killed themselves. Those bitches are just trying to make a few bob out our so-called sins." Lily said angrily. She looked at James who still looked horrified.

"So that's my story. Four years of beatings because I was something that was abnormal." Lily said as she put her head in her hands. James couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had been taught in muggle studies that these places were supposed to help people not nearly kill them. He looked at Lily. How could anyone send this wonderful person to place like that?

"H-How did you get out?" James stuttered. Lily looked up at him a tear in her eyes.

"Dumbledore sent someone to get me out. But it was a lot harder than it seemed. The person he had sent was Arabella Figg. She had been plucked out of Hogwarts and was sent to one of these as well. Well she had tricked my sister into letting her be my new guardian; She had gotten her to sign forms and stuff like that. My sister doesn't even know I'm out yet." Lily laughed bitterly. "Dumbledore figured something was up when I hadn't returned and he obviously didn't believe my sister when she said I was dead. But he found me a year ago and for the next few months Arabella tried to get me out. She almost knocked one of the nuns out when I walked into the office of Sister Bridget with a black eye and a broken jaw." James sat beside Lily and pulled her into a hug.

"I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for forcing you to tell me. I'm sorry for not looking for you. I'm sorry for not being there when I should have been." James said as he rubbed her back. "But the first thing that I am going to do is getting rid of your scars. My grandfather was and alchemist and he created a cure that heals scars. Then I am going to never leave your side." James chuckled. Lily smiled and wiped her tears away.

"I'm sorry I never told you but I thought that you would think I was a slut. And I didn't want you to think of me like that." Lily said. James gave her a weak smile.

"How could I think that when you haven't even kissed a guy before?" James chuckled. Lily gave him a watery smile. "Lily I'm never going to let anyone hurt or I will at least die trying. Lily Evans you are a wonderful person and don't ever think differently." James said. Lily nodded and that's when she knew. He had bloody well done it with his chivalrous talk. He had gotten her to fall in love with him. He looked at her intently; she had tear streaks down her face, as did James. But they didn't care. James put a hand to her chin and made her look into her eyes.

"Can I be your first kiss?" He asked politely. Lily looked at him and gave him a small smile and nodded.

"I would like that." Lily said quietly. And James leaned in and kissed her, like he hadn't kissed any girl before. He was gentle yet passionate at the same time. He wanted this kiss to be perfect because the perfect kiss was for the perfect person. 

A few years later the pair married and had a child by the name of Harry. He would never know of his mothers' past in Magdalene because nobody knew except for her closest friends and they would never tell a soul.

****

Over 300,000 women died in Magdalene. It's last facility closed in 1996. Many people were brought there because they had been raped and had spoke about it, had a child out of wedlock, they were too pretty and sometimes because they were too ugly. The Magdalene facilities are Ireland's best kept secret. Not many people were as lucky as perhaps Lily was. Many people died of old age in these institutes. Pray for the souls who lost their lives because they made a bad mistake or someone else had. Rape isn't always woman's fault so why sis many have to suffer? Lily's story was a true story brought into a fictional world. Hers is only one of many more!

I am sorry if you are Catholic and feel offended by this story. I am a catholic and feel angered that this sort of abuse actually happened. I can not comprehend how those women must have felt. And I truly pray that there souls rest in heaven. Please tell me your views and thoughts about my story and also the concept of Magdalene itself. Thank you for reading!


End file.
